Here it is the end of July, about a month and 4 shoots since the last blog post.
Early in July my relationship separation was cemented in that I moved out of the house we co-owned into rental accommodation. Not easy to go from home owner back to renting. Anyway, photography has kept me both busy and sane through this hard time in life. My focus is literally on my art, and producing some of the many concepts and visions I have in my head. It's fun.
Emotions have been running high, as you'd expect, but this has opened doors for me in a creative sense. I've become more sensitive to a whole lot of stuff around me. Everything seems more vibrant and more able to illicit an emotional response from me. Music is one thing that's been doing this; I've latched onto some music lately that pretty much brings tears to my eyes - and I play it over and over. No I'm not depressed, well not depressed anymore than I should be given the circumstances. These changes started happening a few months ago, around the same time that my photographic work took a huge tangent from where it's been all my life. Things inside started to unravel, and creativity opened up along with a heightened sense of everything.
It's only hindsight that makes things clear. At the time things are happening, it's almost impossible to see why, but when I look back a few months I can see all the events, all the emotions, all the life-changing circumstances in a more organised way. They fit into an orderly pattern and trace a fairly logical path to the present day. The primary event during the last few months has been a conscious and difficult decision I made to pursue my particular creative direction and not to compromise it according to what someone else demanded. Compromising crucial and integral parts of yourself only comes back to bite either you, or the person you compromised for, later on. I feel secure and confident that I made the right decision and since that crucial decision was made, things have really started to roll.
So what has really changed, what is different I ask myself? The answer is everything! But artistically, one thing is the same for me. My subject matter has changed but the aspect I engage in and try to capture is the same as it's always been. Beauty. That's it, simple. Beauty has the power to stir things deep inside and I hope that my work allows the viewer to see and feel that same beauty.
Shibaru - Kinkabu
Another amazing eye-opening shoot. Photos from this shoot might have to wait a while.